diabetes and impotence

Haiz.. Wrote a lengthy post on sun nite.. And b4 i could post it.. I pressed delete accidentally..why???? i took 1 hr to write it and its gone. Anyway its was abt spsd inst mtg and my thoughts after chit chating with someone while on the way back to NTU..haiz.. It was such a precious little�post yet... Nevermind

tml is econs test and i haven really finish studying.. And im still facing the comp doing things "i koe i shouldnt be doing"..
prof went thru chem quiz tis morning.. And i had a good feeling that im going to fail.

well.. Expected.. Im always failing my tests anyway..

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Blah, Iapos;m sick, but not sick enough to warrent calling into work or staying in bed. Itapos;s that quasi-sick-head cold thing that means you just have to go about your day feeling like poo At least this held off until after all my traveling, between L.A. In Sept. And Bloomington in Oct and soon Michigan in November and Ohio in December I just hope my voice comes back full force before my interview on Thur. Nothing else too exciting going on. No changes on the work front, still just interviewing away hoping for something that is technically full time and pays more. Also nothing new on the wedding front, still have the venue narrowed down between 3-4 drastically different places. It will definately be next year between Sept. And Dec. (Ok, maybe not definately, maybe 98 sure) For my apos;Twilightapos; buddies, just over a month til the movie Also there was a new trailer posted for it the other day. Also, I just finished reading the authorapos;s other book apos;The Hostapos; which I also thought was amazing, so you might want to pick that one up to = )

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Lets jsut round up todayy,so went school late 8.45
just specially for CIP.it was fun and perhaps rewarding.(:
skipped training but i have to go on monday for i promised.
and i am promoted to sec 4 exp.(4 subs passed,3 subs failed)
nth much to say god probably decided to reward me for my effort and hard work
supposedly to be passed 3 subs and failed 4 subs
so to town and managed to eat kfc cos i tahan pain abit.
and later on i spit blood come out.knn i think tongue luh.but alvin say throat.
jialat luh.throat infection or smth.gna die young

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How does someone with no money and no social support get a break from their kid?

Scott and I are feeling the stress in a super major way. I have been to HELL and back so to speak. I was post pardum, (which is getting better now), and we were both experiencing some anxiety issues. That stuff is clearing up now, but new issues seem to have arisen.

Scott is a type 1 diabetic, and his blood sugar is ALL over the map. This is an extremely hard thing for someone with this condition to go through. The lowapos;s cause him to not really be able to function with a general body ache from not enough blood sugar in his system. The highapos;s make him feel like he has the flu, and they affect his mental function. I honestly feel overwhelmed between dealing with this and an infant.

Today she was on her tummy time blanket and I was multi-tasking at the computer. She kept whining incessantly, and I finally just blurted out with a loud, "ALRIGHT" That is as close to yelling at my daughter as I ever want to get.

She has also switched her bedtime schedule, and this is causing some relational trouble for Scott and I. She used to go to bed close to 10pm and wake up at 8am. Now she is doing this thing where she goes to bed at 12am and gets up at 10am. This essentially leaves Scott and I with absolutely no alone time or away from the baby time at all.

Last night Alana cried at 12:30am and wouldnapos;t stop crying unless I held her til she fell back asleep. I canapos;t take this anymore. We have no social support even though my father and TWO adult brothers live in the same town as we do. My mother lives 5-6 hrs away, and Scottapos;s mom is in Calgary.

We donapos;t have enough money for a nanny or babysitter, and I feel like my patience is gone. I am stressed to the max, and I need a break. Our apartment is a mess...etc. We just donapos;t know what to do.
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Hey

I canapos;t sleep. I hardly can these days.
I guess that itapos;s because my life is taking a turning point.
Iapos;m longing like hell until itapos;s time to move out. And itapos;s just
one week and a half left now.

When I have moved I arrange so that I can go out and run early in the morning,
do some situps at home and yeah you know the rest. I will also eat whatever I like or donapos;t like. I will be able to even starve if I like cause no one can say a thing...
Itapos;s brilliant.. I really need to be alone so I can focus on job and exercise...

I will reach my goal.. I reey
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I wish at this point I could figure out what the hell Iapos;m supposed to do with myself... Iapos;ve been out of work now for over 2 months and I feel like Iapos;m losing my mind. Not only because I donapos;t have a job do I feel this way, but I donapos;t have my own place, Iapos;m unable to fix my car to get the damn thing inspected and I feel like all of these things are taking a huge toll on my relationship. I know that no relationship is perfect, but I feel like this particular on is fragile and Iapos;m worried that there is a chance that how Iapos;ve been acting is really affecting it. Iapos;ve been turning myself inside out on how to get back on my feet, but it just seems that nothing is working. Though Iapos;m trying not to have that mentality, itapos;s getting much harder everyday...


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File this under:� The only missing is a dog, a trailer, a tornado, a Wal-mart�and a pick-up truck and it would make the perfect country song.

Standing in the driveway of his family home in this small Alaska town, Johnston spoke about the rumors swirling around him.�The soft-spoken teenager discussed his relationship with Palin and how life has changed with fatherhood fast approaching. He agreed to talk despite the presidential campaignapos;s advice in the days following Gov. Sarah Palinapos;s nomination to avoid the media.�"Theyapos;re not telling me anything right now," Johnston said as he checked his Blackberry. "Itapos;s pretty chill."

Not surprisingly, Johnston was a little shocked when he learned about Bristolapos;s pregnancy, but he says he quickly embraced the prospects of fatherhood. The baby is due Dec. 18. Johnston has dropped out of high school to take a job on the North Slope oil fields as an apprentice electrician.� Thereapos;s no word on how his future mother-in-law feels about Johnstonapos;s decision to drop out of high school. Last year, she made a point of trying to turn around the high dropout rate in their hometown.� Johnston said he has dated Palin since his freshman year in high school.

"We were planning on getting married a long time ago with or without the kid," he said. "That was the plan from the start."�While Johnston provided few details about next summerapos;s wedding, the planning has started: A cousin will likely be his best man, and he has asked two hockey buddies, Ben Barber and Dane Wilson, to be groomsmen.�Barber doesnapos;t think anyone pressured Johnston into marriage.

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My second blog. Whoo hoo. Iapos;ve always liked documenting things so I can remember them.� I�tend to imagine that maybe someone will read it one day and take an interest (if� no one reads it now). I dunno. And since Iapos;ve found keeping a diary too tedious and keeping up with my Freewebs blog too constricting, Iapos;m gonna try LJ.� Seems pretty cool and easy...I like the features too, and the fact that I can make entries private. (Ahem..."private". Not that my private entries are going to be interesting enough for people to want to hack into them...or that Iapos;ll be terribly upset if they do.)� Much more blog-focused than Freewebs (durrr...this is a blog site).� Hopefully Iapos;ll keep up with it (and if you ARE reading, comments are always appreciated).

So, to kick off, I guess I should introduce myself a bit.� Iapos;m Leslie...but Iapos;ve aquired many nicknames throughout the years.� Iapos;m a sophomore at Georgetown University, chemistry major, premed with no desire to enter medical school, from Honolulu, HI, member of the GU Pep Band clarinet section, and an aspiring researcher. But for now, Iapos;m just trying to survive orgo and physics (and Italian...Iapos;m pretty much retarded at languages).�

Thatapos;s all for now.� Iapos;m off...to go draw some molecules. Yay.
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Itapos;s�a beautiful .. New .. And better day.
O.K. Thereapos;s my positive attitude for the day. Really I hope that the positive attitude is my friend for the entire day today because yesterday really sucked.
Iapos;m going to let you in on some of my thoughts .. So promise not to tell anyone .. Ok ?
This has all happened to me in the last few days .. Mostly yesterday.
Iapos;m still upset over my dadapos;s stuff that came up missing a few days ago. Then there was my daughter .. Pregnant .. Only 20 .. Un-wed .. And the babyapos;s daddy .. I donapos;t want to even go there. Checking my cameraapos;s and equipment .. And finding out someone had been into them and now my 300mm lens ($$$$) and the Nikon� body ($$$$) are broken. Then my youngest sons call from prision late yesterday. It may not sound like much .. But all of this crap is taking a toll on my mind. I did place 2nd in a poker tournament last night ..
that was a nice break from reality ... Lol ..
I really feel like thereapos;s no one out there to talk to �..
NO�ONE�CARES
I worry that Iapos;m going to explode ..
Not be able to control my actions ..

I need a vacation .. For the rest of my life ..

Later .. Schleprock_g

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